Mindfulness Archives - Page 2 of 2 - New Leaf Coaching & Consulting

In Memory of Julie

With Julie in the gazebo at Zilber Hospice

I met Julie several years ago because of life coaching. I was a guest presenter in a Coaches’ Group that met by phone and included people from all over the country. When Julie heard that I was in Milwaukee, she got in touch and we started getting together in lovely settings from the Urban Ecology Center to her favorite restaurant, Casablanca.

What I remember most is walking to my car after we spent time together and feeling lighter on my feet and in my heart. Julie lived her life with passion and vibrancy, her huge heart on her sleeve. Even when people pissed her off, she did her best to respond with compassion and healing, and more often than not, succeeded.

The word that I most associate with Julie is generosity. She gave freely of herself, her energy, her love, her friendship. Even when she was dying, she made sure that everyone around her felt the full force of her love and did her best to help everyone feel okay, or as okay as we could in the circumstance. Her generosity of spirit created a luminous glow of love around her, like a blanket that she drew around her for warmth and comfort that we were invited under, too.

She was still coaching and teaching, right until her last day, by the way she gracefully carried on. Julie had her dark moments in this journey, of course, but she immediately accepted her diagnosis and the way things were. Her acceptance freed her to experience and feel and love, instead of grasping and fighting with fear and anxiety.

Julie cracked jokes as she always had, filled notebooks with writing, gave long and deep hugs, and made sure each person felt treasured – all while she struggled for each breath against the cancer that was overtaking her. She and her equally amazing and generous husband Joel created a welcoming space in her room or out in the gazebo on the hospice grounds, inviting friends and family to share time. What a gift! There was food, wine (only for Julie), lots of laughing, storytelling, hugs – they created community among people who were often meeting each other for the first time.

Julie, you taught us all how to live, and now you’ve taught us how to die. You live on in our hearts, and in our lives as we do our best to live with the grace, love, humor and generosity that you showed us. Go well, bright spirit.

August 23, 2012/0 Comments/by Jen Wilson

Kindness, Mindfulness

Be Kind – You Just Never Know

Back in my dating days, I followed the sound advice, “See how a person treats service professionals (waiters, clerks, etc) – that’s how they’ll treat you in time.” If someone was rude, impatient, or simply didn’t acknowledge the person providing service as someone equally deserving of courtesy, then that was information about my date’s character.

This rule applied even if the service wasn’t great. My stance has always been, “You just never know – they could be having a really bad day.” People have to show up for work after all kinds of challenging events occur, from a death in the family to being abused at home or being served divorce papers that morning. Read more

August 13, 2012/0 Comments/by Jen Wilson

Mindfulness

Wake Up Calls

I think we’ve all had moments when we felt our entire world shift in an instant.

“I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore.”

”Your pregnancy test is positive.”

“Congratulations! You’ve been accepted.”

“I’m sorry to tell you that we found cancer.”

This last one is on my mind as I pray for a friend who is struggling with this diagnosis, waiting for the tests to reveal more information, and struggling for her very breath in the ICU. Just a few months ago, cancer was no more on her mind than winning the lottery. And now today, it is a mountain looming before her and her husband. Their world changed in the instant of her diagnosis. Read more

July 20, 2012/0 Comments/by Jen Wilson

Mindfulness

Mindfulness and Kitchen Knives

Two winters ago, I took a meditation class and learned more about mindfulness than I ever had before. I learned how to experience it, and how to strive for mindfulness not just during an hour of sitting, but throughout my day no matter what I’m doing, from flossing my teeth to listening to a client.

One of our exercises was to be mindful of every doorway we went through, not for any esoteric reason but simply to practice being mindful. I learned that I am exceedingly unmindful of doorways. Another exercise was to be mindful in the kitchen while making food. This exercise grabbed ahold of me, and since then, I enjoy cooking in a way I never have before. I love feeling the texture of foods, savoring the variations in color and smell, and feeling my hands work.

Last week, I was grappling with a stressful situation in my professional life, trying to sort out the dynamics and understand how I could elevate what was happening to a more productive and peaceful place. The plainer truth is that I felt grumpy and angry, and hadn’t reached a place of resolution or peace for myself yet. At 5:30, I ended my work day (always a conscious decision because I work at home) and went into the kitchen to cook. Read more

January 23, 2012/0 Comments/by Jen Wilson

Mindfulness

Lessons from Settlers of Catan

My partner and his daughter love playing games. So do I, of a certain variety. Cribbage? Yes! Scrabble? Bring it! Bananagrams? Undefeated! Ping pong? I’m not very good, but I’ll play! I just don’t care for board games of strategy such as Monopoly, Risk and Settlers of Catan (no offense, devoted fans).

However, they both indulge my cribbage cravings so I willingly reciprocate by agreeing to play Settlers on occasion. The last time we played, I was agonizing over my next move. I didn’t know where to place a new section of road and sat staring at the board, getting more confused and tense by the minute. I finally said, “This is too stressful!”

My partner smiled and gently replied, “You can’t take it so seriously.” Read more

January 4, 2012/0 Comments/by Jen Wilson

All, Happiness, Mindfulness

A Pebble in Your Shoe

Imagine yourself walking on a gentle path on a hill beside the sea. It’s a glorious sunny day, warm but with a slight cooling breeze, puffy white clouds drifting across the bluest of blue skies. Your destination is a seaside cafe where a dear friend awaits. Perfection.

And then…

You get a tiny little pebble in your shoe. All of your focus immediately shifts to the pain in the ball of your foot and the need to not have it hurt. You might try to ignore it and hobble along, hoping it will shift or somehow just disappear. After all, it’s a bother to stop and take off your shoe to deal with it, and your friend is waiting. There’s no time to deal with this, and it’s so annoying to have this intrude on what was a perfectly good walk. Darn it all!

Of course, it doesn’t go away but just gets lodged more firmly. Unicorns and rainbows might suddenly appear for all you know, but you won’t notice because you’re so distracted. Read more

November 17, 2011/0 Comments/by Jen Wilson

Mindfulness, Retreat

DIY Retreating

Retreat: a place of security or safety; withdrawal for a period of meditation, prayer, reflection, silence.

I think it’s a common misconception that we have to go to Costa Rica for ten days to practice yoga 6 hours a day or check into a pricey bed-and-breakfast for a long weekend with a stack of novels to be officially on retreat.

While I’d jump at the chance to stand in Tree Pose in the rainforest and encourage you to pamper yourself with room service and down comforters if you can, I’m a huge fan of the simple DIY-style retreat (do-it-yourself). Designing your own personal retreat has the advantages of being spontaneous, free or almost-free, totally customized, and flexible. Read more

October 14, 2011/0 Comments/by Jen Wilson

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