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Archive for category: Change and Transformation

Change and Transformation, DEI and Belonging, Facing Fear, Leadership

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Created On the Outside, Healed On the Inside (Part 3 of 3)

I had the privilege of visiting the historical grounds of Robben Island Prison off the coast of Cape Town, South Africa. All of the tours are led by men who were imprisoned there, and they share their firsthand accounts and experiences. They experienced psychological cruelty and physical suffering that is difficult to imagine at the hands of the guards who tried to break their spirits and sow dissension among the racial groups there. The men resisted by focusing on helping each other. Those with larger rations shared their meager food with others who had less. Their motto was, “Each one, teach one,” and every new prisoner was given a political education that empowered them to organize, remain in solidarity, and mentally resist oppression by building internal resilience and power.

One of the best ways to overcome Imposter Syndrome is to work to eliminate the conditions that cause it. All we need to do is hold a baby to know that we are not born feeling unworthy of love and belonging and inclusion. Our culture, systems, laws, policies, social norms, business practices — all human made — are what create the inner experience that we call Imposter Syndrome.

As we continue to observe, challenge, counter, and heal Imposter Syndrome in ourselves, we have more and more strength available to challenge the systems that create it in ourselves and others. The research is mixed on who experiences Imposter Syndrome. Some studies show that it cuts across demographics and identities, affecting people of all genders, races, ethnicities, social class, sexual orientation, and educational levels. Others show that it disproportionately affects women (especially BIWOC: Black, Indigenous Women of Color), BIPOC, and LGBTQ+ folx. However, we don’t need research to know that rising water lifts all boats. Read more

May 10, 2022/by Jen Wilson
https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png 0 0 Jen Wilson https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png Jen Wilson2022-05-10 23:50:392022-05-10 23:57:09Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Created On the Outside, Healed On the Inside (Part 3 of 3)
Change and Transformation, DEI and Belonging, Facing Fear, Leadership

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Created On the Outside, Healed On the Inside (Part 2 of 3)

There’s a fable about a renowned aikido master who had a student who said, “Master, I wish for your skill. You never lose your balance!” She replied, “I lose my balance all the time. I just recover faster.”

As we discussed last week, the goal isn’t to stop ourselves from ever having an Imposter Syndrome thought again, but to learn how to recover quickly when we do. We can find solid footing and regain our sense of self-worth and confidence when we get messages that we’re not worthy or don’t belong.

The fundamental truth is that you are as worthy of respect, love, and belonging as much as any other human being. The Buddha said, “You can search the world over and you will find no one who is more deserving of your kindness and well wishing than you yourself.” This is a call to wake up and realize that no one is less than any other.

As women, we are typically socialized to believe that our worth is derived from being accommodating, quiet, demure, smiling, polite, and nice. We are rewarded for being that way, and censured when we are not. BIWOC (Black, Indigenous, and Women of Color) in our culture face even greater challenges because of systemic racial oppression and biases that perpetuate negative stereotypes. Black women experience the maddening double-bind described by Michelle Obama as, “the size of our hips, our style, our swag, it becomes co-opted but then we are demonized.” When we are “too” anything or don’t fit into the Eurocentric, masculine, Christian dominant culture, we often experience overt or subtle messages that we aren’t welcome or don’t belong at the table at which we are sitting, if we have access to the table at all.

Dr. Maya Angelou described the accumulation of these insults and exclusions as “being pecked to death by ducks.” This is how Imposter Syndrome comes to us from the outside, and how over time, we can succumb to the duck bites and start biting ourselves. Read more

May 10, 2022/by Jen Wilson
https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png 0 0 Jen Wilson https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png Jen Wilson2022-05-10 23:37:552022-05-10 23:58:15Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Created On the Outside, Healed On the Inside (Part 2 of 3)
Change and Transformation, DEI and Belonging, Facing Fear, Leadership

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Created On the Outside, Healed On the Inside (Part 1 of 3)

Let’s be abundantly clear right out of the gate — overcoming Imposter Syndrome is not about toxic positivity or jollying yourself into feelings of false confidence. It’s not about blaming women for their legitimate feelings and ignoring the root causes of Imposter Syndrome. It is about things you can do to support your own healing and take external action to make sure you and other women, particularly BIWOC (Black, Indigenous, Women of Color), are included and feel a sense of belonging.

Even the most famous and seemingly confident women in the world can experience Imposter Syndrome. Oscar-, Emmy-, and Tony-winning actor Viola Davis shares that she thinks, “I’m going to wake up and everyone’s going to see me for the hack that I am.” Former First Lady Michelle Obama says, “It doesn’t go away, that feeling that you shouldn’t take me that seriously. What do I know?”

Healing and prevention — this is the both/and approach that we need in these times of reckoning with bias and inequity. Let’s say that you’re walking down the street and a dog lunges out of a yard and bites you. You can take action to ensure that the owners leash their dog or fence their yard so the dog doesn’t bite anyone else, but you still have the bite. You still need to heal. Read more

May 10, 2022/by Jen Wilson
https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png 0 0 Jen Wilson https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png Jen Wilson2022-05-10 23:23:472022-05-10 23:54:53Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Created On the Outside, Healed On the Inside (Part 1 of 3)
Change and Transformation, Leadership, Management

The Great Recombobulation

Along with the Great Resignation, we are seeing the Great Recombobulation*. We need a moment to sit, gather ourselves, and tie our shoes before the next leg of the trip we’re on. I’m facilitating retreats with teams and organizations who are wisely bringing everyone together in the Recombobulation Area: to figure out remote/hybrid work relationships, update Values and Agreements to reflect a changed world and workforce, or cope with all of the challenges to our individual and collective wellbeing. It’s easy to get lost in our heads-down, task-focused to-do lists. Let’s hit Pause…to see where we’ve landed and pull ourselves together before taking off again. Let me know how I can help.

*Barry Bateman, former airport director at my nearby airport in Milwaukee, made up this word to give travelers a reason to smile in a sometimes stressful situation.

April 13, 2022/by Jen Wilson
https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png 0 0 Jen Wilson https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png Jen Wilson2022-04-13 20:03:152022-04-13 20:23:12The Great Recombobulation
Change and Transformation, DEI and Belonging, Leadership

Commitment to Anti-Racism and Disrupting Anti-Blackness

Young women marching for justice.

Across the U.S. and the world, people are rising up to demand transformational action to stop the murder of Black people by police and other injustices that have endangered the safety, health, and well-being of  BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) for hundreds of years.

New Leaf strongly stands in solidarity with anti-racism and disrupting anti-Blackness movements and is committed to taking anti-racist action. As a white woman, I am committed to showing up as a better co-conspirator in the movement (watch Dr. Bettina Love explain the difference between an ally and a co-conspirator).

This means that I have to do more than like some Facebook posts and show up at a protest, thinking that I’ve done my part. I have to be committed over the long haul. I will continue to take action and  use my privilege, my body, my resources to support the movement. I will continue to educate myself, and not ask people of color to do any labor for me that I can and should do for myself.

One of my teachers, Dr. Leslie Hinkson, calls for all people to come together to take anti-racist action, with energy and optimism. We can listen to and follow thought leaders of color, support campaigns and organizations led by people of color, and buy from businesses owned by people of color. We can write to our legislators, march in the streets, show up on Juneteenth Day. We can have conversations with friends and family about issues such as defunding the police, the history of race in the US, and the public health crisis of racism. Most importantly, we can vote.

Act. Donate. Speak. Learn. Vote.

We can do this, together.

 

Black Lives Matter Movement 

  • Register to Vote by Black Lives Matter
  • Love on Black Women
  • SURJ (Show Up for Racial Justice)
  • YWCA: Eliminating Racism, Empowering Women

 

Transforming Policing:

  • 8Can’tWait
  • Defunding Vs. Abolishing The Police Explained In 6 Minutes by Joseph Capehart

 

Resources for Self-Education:

  • The Anti-Racism Starter Kit by L. Glenise Pike
  • The Case for Reparations  video from Democracy Now with Ta-Nehisi Coates
  • Racism as Public Health Emergency article in The Guardian
  • Birth of a White Nation  video by Jacqueline Battalora

 

Supporting Black-owned Business

These are resources for Milwaukee, WI – research and find similar resources in your community.

  • Milwaukee Black Chamber of Commerce
  • MKE Black

 

 

 

 

 

 

June 17, 2020/by Jen Wilson
https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png 0 0 Jen Wilson https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png Jen Wilson2020-06-17 18:36:582022-04-13 20:50:25Commitment to Anti-Racism and Disrupting Anti-Blackness
Change and Transformation, New Leaf News

Learn about Immunity to Change on The Deliberate Creative Podcast

Jennifer was featured on the “The Deliberate Creative” podcast discussing Immunity to Change.

Immunity to Change is a powerful tool to help us figure out what is preventing us from making the change we want in our lives, whether it is being more creative, exercising more, or finishing a project. Something is creating the “immunity” that is stopping the change. In this episode, Immunity to change facilitators Amy Climer and Jen Wilson explain how Immunity to Change works and how to use it. You will walk through creating your own map to lead you to understanding yourself and hear an example of how to use the process. The process helps individuals, teams, and organizations make the changes they want to make.

Listen Now
January 17, 2019/0 Comments/by Jen Wilson
https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png 0 0 Jen Wilson https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png Jen Wilson2019-01-17 16:24:152020-05-21 16:11:19Learn about Immunity to Change on The Deliberate Creative Podcast
Change and Transformation, Mindfulness

Busy is the New Fine

Woman On Her Cell Phone

Picture two friends running into each other at the grocery store. Their conversation goes something like this:

“Hey, great to see you! How are you?”

“Wow,  super busy. You?”

“Oh, same as you. Busier than ever!”

Sound familiar?

We used to say, “Fine,” even if we weren’t. There will always be situations where this exchange is meant to be a polite social ritual, not an invitation to download every trauma we’ve encountered over the past week. When we walk into the office in the morning or greet the barista, “Fine, thanks!” is a polite response.

But now, we aren’t fine.  We are busy.  Super busy.

Sometimes I wonder if we equate being busy with being valuable. If we replied, “I’ve been taking it easy the past few days,” would we fear being judged as lazy, unproductive, or – worst of all – selfish? Read more

January 16, 2019/0 Comments/by Jen Wilson
https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png 0 0 Jen Wilson https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png Jen Wilson2019-01-16 16:34:032019-01-16 20:36:51Busy is the New Fine
Change and Transformation, Facing Fear

Black Lives Matter

Black Lives MatterThere’s been a great deal of dialog about this cry for action in our communities. A common response, primarily by white people, is to say, “Yes, but all lives matter.”

I believe that this rejoinder is part of the problem. When anyone responds this way, we yet again shift our focus away from a laser focus on the issue at hand, which is that in our country, the most overlooked and least-protested murders are those of black people.

By saying that black lives matter, no one is saying that other lives don’t. That’s just plain faulty logic. Of course all lives matter, but the reality is that we act as if some lives matter more than others, repeatedly, in our systems of justice, education, economics, housing, and on and on.

Let’s keep our focus on the problem, however uncomfortable we get about it, and not dilute the message or delude ourselves into complacency.

 

June 18, 2015/0 Comments/by Jen Wilson
https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png 0 0 Jen Wilson https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png Jen Wilson2015-06-18 17:59:342015-06-18 17:59:34Black Lives Matter
Change and Transformation, Facing Fear, Mindfulness

Am I Just Lazy? The Real Reason We Resist Change

Robert_Kegan_1

Bob Kegan teaching Immunity to Change

Last spring, I traveled to Harvard University to study with Dr. Lisa Lahey and Dr.  Robert Kegan. For the past 35 years, they’ve been developing a process for personal, group and organizational transformation called Immunity to Change. What they’ve learned in over three decades of research and field application is that they’re on to something that works. They’ve used this process with individuals who came to them for help and with international corporations on a large scale, and they get results where other approaches have failed.

While I walked from my inn to campus on the first day, I wondered what I would learn that surprise me. I felt that I knew myself pretty well after years of counseling, self-help and personal growth work, and coaching. As I sipped my coffee from a silver urn in the swanky Harvard Faculty Club, a diverse group of people from all over the world started to arrive, hailing from Russia, Australia, South Africa, England, and all over the US. There were ministers and therapists, leaders of industry and graduate students. I was energized by the passionate conversations we had about creating positive change in the world and was glad I came, no matter what the training was going to be like.

I suppose I wondered if the esteemed professors would be, well, aloofly professorial, but not at all.  Bob and Lisa were totally down to earth, warm and engaging, and clearly passionate about their work and their years of professional partnership and friendship. They set a tone of “We’re all learning and practicing and flubbing up together,” so we relaxed and dove in to some amazingly personal and vulnerable work together, experiencing the Immunity to Change process for ourselves before being trained how to guide others through it.

All was going smoothly – no surprises yet – when bam! They revealed the piece of their process that makes it distinctly powerful, picking up where most self-help leaves off and showing what was previously unseen and disconnected.

“Oh…hmmm….well, look at that…didn’t know that was still there…whoa.” That was my reaction when my own immunity to change was revealed. The “Whoa,” was the leverage I needed to finally move past a block I’d had for years, which I actually thought I’d already moved past. Amazing. Read more

December 11, 2013/0 Comments/by Jen Wilson
https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png 0 0 Jen Wilson https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png Jen Wilson2013-12-11 09:32:462013-12-11 09:32:46Am I Just Lazy? The Real Reason We Resist Change
Change and Transformation, Facing Fear

No Escape

I stopped at my usual station to fill up my gas tank this weekend, getting ready for a week of out of town meetings at schools.  The pump was brand new, and I liked the crisp, clean display that was easy to read in the bright sunshine, and the new handle that felt clean instead of cruddy.  As soon as my gas started pumping, the display switched to show me the three-day weather forecast.  “That’s pretty cool,” I thought.  But then, the screen switched to “TV mode” and NFL highlights began playing at an ear-shattering volume.  Really? Read more

October 22, 2012/0 Comments/by Jen Wilson
https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png 0 0 Jen Wilson https://consultnewleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/logo-300x100.png Jen Wilson2012-10-22 13:12:242022-04-13 20:24:24No Escape
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Recent Posts

  • Immunity to Change: Brené Brown and Lisa Lahey and You
  • Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Created On the Outside, Healed On the Inside (Part 3 of 3)
  • Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Created On the Outside, Healed On the Inside (Part 2 of 3)
  • Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Created On the Outside, Healed On the Inside (Part 1 of 3)
  • The Great Recombobulation

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