Entries by New Leaf

A Moment of Grace

Many years ago, I walked into a retreat center in rural Missouri on road-shaky legs. I’d driven 9 hours from my home in Milwaukee through driving rain, and the last 3 hours led me deep into the rural Ozarks on snaking, hilly roads. I remember saying, “Where am I?” as I passed homes flying Confederate […]

Check for “Eww…”

Right now, in this moment, take a look at your calendar. It’s time for an “Ewww…” check. It’s simple to do. As you review your entries, check to see if your instinctive first impression is, “Eww…”, in your gut or head or heart. It’s oh so easy to say yes, and sometimes uncomfortable to say […]

Black Lives Matter

There’s been a great deal of dialog about this cry for action in our communities. A common response, primarily by white people, is to say, “Yes, but all lives matter.” I believe that this rejoinder is part of the problem. When anyone responds this way, we yet again shift our focus away from a laser […]

And Then There’s the Human Element…

I saw this headline and photo on my Facebook feed this morning: “The race is on in bid to save sea turtles.” You may have had a similar reaction to mine: “Aww, that is wonderful. I’m glad people care.” And then I did something interesting. I re-read the story as a metaphor for people who […]

Who Do You Think You Are?

It actually matters quite a bit, this idea of self.  Our beliefs about the separateness of our Self or the connection of Self to everything else in the universe shape how we think, feel, and live each and every moment of the day. What is the self? Is it different from identify or self-image? Am […]

Busy is the New Fine

Picture two friends running into each other at the grocery store. Their conversation goes something like this: “Hey, great to see you! How are you?” “Wow,  super busy. You?” “Oh, same as you. Busier than ever!” Sound familiar? We used to say, “Fine,” even if we weren’t. There will always be situations where this exchange […]

Am I Just Lazy? The Real Reason We Resist Change

Last spring, I traveled to Harvard University to study with Dr. Lisa Lahey and Dr.  Robert Kegan. For the past 35 years, they’ve been developing a process for personal, group and organizational transformation called Immunity to Change. What they’ve learned in over three decades of research and field application is that they’re on to something […]

I Have No Problems

My life changed in five minutes, playing catch with a child. This summer, I met with Chris Holmes, the President of Penfield Children’s Center.  PCC serves children from birth to age three. As they state it, “Penfield Children’s Center is a non-profit organization whose sole purpose is to help infants and young children with and […]

Got Expectations?

“Sow an expectation, reap a disappointment.” This adage confounded me for a long, long time. How can I not have expectations?  For example, if I pay for my groceries, I expect that I will be allowed to take them home. If I’m in a relationship, I expect to be treated with kindness and not be […]